I woke up today with something tingling inside that I couldn’t tell anybody. Something private that I want to keep secret from anybody. It’s Saturday today and as usual I don’t know what to do. For successful people, they will not wake up with nothing in their heads. If you read all those motivational books, I can point you one where it is written. I want to do something just I really have no plan of what to do today. Make up something? Finish my HW first. That’s the most important.

Yesterday’s movie “Sorority Boys” was such a pure laughter. With all those teen to young adults jokes, I can’t barely shut my mouth from laughing. Especially this one scene where these two fake women fought using two penis swords. Kinda gross but if you see it yourself, I can’t describe the hilarity of that scene. Maybe this film is not appropriate for everybody but I already watched it.

OK, stop talking about that. What else? Yeah, I chatted with my sister yesterday. I don’t want to talk in detail about it. Basically, just a few things that I want to know about my family like are they OK, this and that. They were chatting with somebody else which I already get rid of that habit years before. The cure is, try to chat for the whole day and you feel it makes bored to death. I quit easily after I tried that and not chatting for about 1 or 2 years. Now, if I chat, it’s not going to be long. For fun. For a while.

Lalat is still not coming home from his trip to Arizona. I need him for the 4003 HW. He’s going to return today. I hope I could finish the homework before Monday.

Tonight is Thursday night. For all those crazy spring breakers, this must be a haunting moment because it going to be over. For me, why it's not going to be another week? And why the fuck there is homework given b4 the holiday started. Ah, I’m not a child anymore coz that's what adults do. As we, adults always say to children," Do Your Job" and here I am not doing anything beneficial. Time looks at me as rubbish without doing anything good at all. Really? Think again. It’s me who knows what I am and what I’m doing. Luckily I still know my boundary and that's what human is. Knowing what you're doing or if you don't know anything, knows your boundary. This week, I have good time and bad time. Both are going to be memories because they already were. Still, I’m uncertain with my future because based on my experiences, I don' t know how to carry out my life with these miserable and cloudy thing around me. What are they? Whatever that gives me discomfort. As a result of that I’m listening to a song over and over again. It was a good song but listening to it for nearly ten times in an hour makes me or even somebody else thinks that what's wrong with you. Get a variation. Ok, I click for another song so that I happy and the other part that questioning my behavior is also happy. But this shakira's underneath your clothes is really sensational. Slow in rhythm but the lyric is good and her voice is very good.

I woke up early today because yesterday when I chat with my brother, he told me my mom wanted to talk to me. Usually I called when it's evening in Malaysia but yesterday, I went out with some friends to sty. Paul science museum (first time in my 3 years living here). I was so tired yesterday especially after watching 'riding in cars with boys' video and hurling the strong wind to catch the bus home. Luckily I woke up early. Maybe I t was because of determination to call my mother and because it's been about 2 weeks I didn't call my family. The conversation was always the same with me not talking too much and my mother asking this and that although the question format was pretties the same from the last time. There was nothing interesting for both of us to tell. That’ s why our conversation was so dull and perhaps if the operator hear and understand our conversation, he or she just shaken his/her head because one could say the conversation like this should have ended in 5 minutes instead of 10-15 minutes.I don't blame my family because of the dull conversation between us. It was because on phone, everything seems so shallow. No such good expression that could impress both parties. Especially when I’m not a good talker myself. (Note to self: change the mood of conversation. How?)

Aarrrggghhh... crap!!! It’s always being like that. Always crappy motivational things in my head but the result are always upside down. Hate it. Hate it because I never feel so much stupid like this before. But, I think my life is not that bad. Bad moments always happen. They’re all spices of life. I had lots of them before and maybe this is the time God gives me to revise my life or to make me stronger in making decision or handling things on my own. Hey, the things that don't make you die will make you stronger. Or the other side of it, it makes you really sick. Who knows right? Well, I think I don't to be carried away by this fucking troubled homework or results because if I want to live, there's a way to carry on life. Look around. Life isn't bad after all. It isn't bad at all. It’s FAIR!

Right now, what I’m thinking is I want to get over with my HW and get rid of this semester!